When your car has a mind of it’s own..but isn’t named Herbie!

written June 2nd.

My car..sigh...I love it, I really do. Believe it or not, it's a huge step up from the last one I had that started randomly dying as I would be driving down the road...be it a regular street, the highway, or even interstate. Yeah..I almost got rear-ended numerous times until it finally did it to my dad like 8 times in one day and he decided to believe that I wasn't making it up just so I could get myself a new ride! Silly dad.

Anyway, back to the current vehicle...a 2001 Ford Explorer Sport. First of all, the back left end has been seriously low for months now. People around town, including many that I don't even know, have pointed it out to me and told me it probably isn't safe to keep driving on it. Ha. So I took it to a body shop to have them look at that and my gas cap door because it wouldn't shut all the way. My friend fixed the door, but said I needed to take it to a different place to get the other fixed, because he didn't see anything wrong. The other place decided it was just REAAAAALLLY out of alignment. In fact, they came back to the waiting area laughing at me and said, "We don't know WHAT you did to it, but it's bad and is going to take 2 to 3 hours to fix." I said..."So what, you think I hit something or what are you saying here? Cause I guarandamntee you, I haven't!" (Okay, except a lot of dips...probably way to fast and hard!! hee hee Oh come on..they didn't need to know that!)

Anyway, I scheduled an appt. to get it fixed and never made it in and haven't rescheduled. So, much to my father's chagrin, I'm probably getting really close to needing at least 1 new tire on top of getting the really jacked up alignment taken care of.

But now...for the newest episode. The last couple months, I'll go to start my car and it won't do anything. Then I have to shake the gearshift and try again and all is fine. I mentioned this to my dad and my male friends here in town. They (not my dad) told me it was because I drove a gay-ass "Exploder" and what did I expect. RUDE and NOT HELPING! Geez. Dad just said they do that sometimes and not to worry about it yet.

So yesterday my car, who apparently has decided is Herbie's EVIL cousin or something...started reversing...on it's own...when the car was in park...both when on AND off. It only goes about 2 or 3 feet before it catches and stops, but come on. Today, I went to the bank during lunch and they were packed so I had to park across the street. I put it in park, shut er off, got out and started heading across the street...only to be nearly RAN OVER by my very own car!!! What the hell?!

A) Embarrassing
B) Retarded
C) Rude
D) POS car- I'm humming the Adam Sandler tune right now!
E) Not okay with me!

So, the beast is going to the shoppy shop tomorrow to get an oil change, probably a butt-lift (wish I could get one too!), and a lesson on how to NOT back that ass up...and run over your owner!

*************************FOR SALE*************************
2001 FORD EXPLORER SPORT (black with tinted windows and really cute!)Let's make a deal!
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Just kidding. It may have a mind of its own, be a little psycho, and apparently hate me...but I kinda like it. We're kindred spirits, 2 peas in a pod, with big butts and big attitudes to match! But I promise you this, my next car will NOT be an Explorer!

UPDATE!!!
Let's see...the gearshift needs a new cable, the back ass that is dragging is because although it's not missing any springs and they aren't broken either...they no longer have any tension- which means it's getting new shocks and springs on the back end, and apparently there is an entire part missing on the front end that they noticed when they had it up in the air...the Sway bar link, AND an oil change. All told it's costing me (okay, costing my poor dad!!!) almost $1000 to get it all fixed! Gotta hate cars and really love parents, eh?! Craptastic.