This is from April 7th.
Pomegranite martinis are my new drink of the month. Yummy.
I have spring fever in a bad way.
Dogs are stinky.
Everyone should have someone to cuddle with.
The lottery is rigged.
I want to go somewhere exotic, warm, sunny, and far away from reality.
I’m thinking I’ll wear my sombrero to work all day on the 5th.
Money really SHOULD grow on trees...at least on mine.
Whatever happened to Sinead O’Connor and her bald ass head?
Somedays I think I should shave my own head.
If you were invited to a botox party, would you go..or would you be offended?
The welfare system should tell certain individuals that in order to receive assistance, they are no longer allowed to procreate and must have a hysterectomy.
I just ate a banana, which I’m allergic to...but eat anyways for potassium and because they say you should. Now my entire mouth is tingling.
I want to do something spectacular for 4th of July weekend and get the hell outta dodge.
Dodge is a weird word.
My doctor told me this past week that he thought he had found a guy for me, since my mom is still obsessed with finding me a husband...but that he just found out he’s engaged. Thanks doc. What the hell was the point in that story. Thanks for letting me know.
Is it time for Oktoberfest? I need a bierock, booze, and some bad polka music.
Who said naptime is just for toddlers and the elderly? That’s bullshit.
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