"Honesty is such a lonely word, Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you". -Billy Joel
Is there such a thing being too honest? We all have faced moments when a lie seemed like it was the better route at that exact moment...be it a little white lie, or a huge monstrosity we soon came to regret. What is it that leads us to believe that we are sparing the other persons feelings? Often, the things I find myself shying away from telling someone the truth about, are things that they eventually will be told anyway...and it would have been much kinder to hear it from me...rather than a stranger, a boss, or someone else. I find myself thinking, why hurt their feelings...why upset them...why make them mad...why risk an arguement and possibly a friendship? Why? Because that's what a true friend would do. Risk it all to help the ones they love.
If we tell the truth in these moments, the very things we were afraid of happening, often do. Anger, hurt feelings, loss of friendship, etc. So here I sit in a bubble wondering when should I speak up...tell exactly what I think, exactly what I feel? Who will my words and feelings benefit, who will they hurt, and who will hold it against me and never speak to me again. As I worry about the reaction of the other persons, I also worry about myself and keeping my own emotions and thoughts tucked away so they can eat away at me until I'm nothing but a carcass. When do I say screw it and enough is enough...THIS is what I think, THIS is what I feel, I'm SORRY if it hurts you, makes you mad, makes you uncomfortable...but it is what it is.
Friends and loved ones usually know you the best. They probably know when you are not being honest anyway. They know if you are opinionated and usually speak how you feel. Unfortunatley, this doesn't make them any more open to your truths. It only makes your honesty and truthfulness more hurtful to them.
So where does that leave us. Do we try to stay somewhere in the middle, lay it all on the line all the time, or pussyfoot around so we don't offend or make others uncomfortable?
6 comments:
What do you have to say to whom? Or just thinkin' out loud
A little bit of both...
Tell me...are you looking to put your issues on somebody else to help yourself feel better, or are you avoiding telling someone something that they need to hear and you just have a hard time saying, or both.
Nothing of which I am currently thinking about is something that is mean or disparaging to the people I want to say it to. I just think they would rather not hear it at all.
What does that tell you about the relationship you have with them that they dont want to hear what is on your heart???
I think it's story time...
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