Sunday, August 24, 2008

Productiveness is overrated

Why is it, that even when I am going out of my way to not be a procrastinator and actually get shit accomplished...I always seem to step in a big pile o' poop, instead of getting my reward of a job well done?

Today, I borrowed an electric hedge trimmer (thank you Joyous!), and set out to trim the bushes on on the side of my house, the big one by the front door, and mainly...the way overgrow hedges in the alley. I started out front and got all those done and then made my way to the back fence. I was on a ladder and getting all that I could from the inside of the fence and had worked my way from one end to the other. I was having to reach for the end, because my shed was in the way, and there is only about 5 inches between the shed and fence...hence, my big booty wouldn't fit in between. So, I'm leaning and stretching my arms as far as I could to get the last little bit....when it happened.

NO...I didn't fall off the ladder...(which, I know, is a miracle by the way). Instead I suddenly felt severe pain and burning in my hand. At first I was confused and thought I had somehow caught my hand in the hedge trimmer..but then realized both hands where on the handle...then my arms started hurting and burning too. That's when it finally registered what was going on...I dropped the still running trimmer and started running! Amazingly, once again, no sound escaped my mouth. Not a scream, not a cuss word, not a peep. (for those that have heard the marble stair incident, you may remember no sound came forth then either...I'm thinking this is not normal..especially since I'm quite possibly the loudest person I know---other than my OLDER sister Amy. You're welcome for the OLDER part, Amy. ha).

Anyway, back to the point. I had been telling my dad for over a month that I was seeing wasps in my backyard, but hadn't found any nests. Well folks, I found it today. It is on the backside of my shed...and my hand was probably less than half an inch from it. They got my right hand twice, my right arm 3 more times, and my left arm once. I called my parents and my dad is relaying the info to my mom..and she's in the background freaking out. 6?! She got stung 6 times...tell her go get to the ER before her throat starts closing off!! She could die. My dad was trying not to laugh. I was trying not to cry...because by this point, my hand is swollen twice it's size, my right arm is completely numb and super heavy feeling...and I'm sitting with the realization that I have no health insurance until Sept. 1st. So really, even if my throat did start to close, it would probably be cheaper to just die.

Instead I jsut took some generic benadryl, went and bought meat tenderizer and mixed it with water to make a paste..cause my mom says it draws out the bad stuff (and her bro is a pharmacist, so for some reason I feel that gives her more credibility??), and I got the biggest can of wasp killer I could find. I left the bastards alone for now..but tomorrow I'm gonna kill those suckers.


By the way, the bushes out front look fantabulous...but don't drive down my alley. After the incident, I went out to finish...but I think I mutliated the poor hedges instead. And there were some that I still couldn't reach and some that were too thick for the hedge trimmer to go it looks like a pretty ghetto haircut I'm afraid. So really, do NOT drive by and look, unless you feel like picking up the huge pile of branches and hauling them to the dump for me!!

Friday, August 08, 2008

It's FAIR WEEK in G-town!

The smell of manure polluting your nostrils, thoughts of funnel cakes making your mouth water, and the excitment of the sizzler giving you whiplash...Fair week is simply magical!!

So far this week I've enjoyed the fair in many ways:

1. I've worked in the Kiwanis booth a total of about 14 hours, with about 5 more to go.
2. I've rode the sizzler, the tilt-a-whirl, the round-up, and the octupus (which broke while I was at the top of it)! ha
3. I've had 2 funnel cakes, 1 cotton candy, and no snow-cones...yet.
4. I've had a yummy Kiwanis burger.
5. I've laughed until it hurt.
6. I've screamed from 1 ride, get me off...I'm too old for this...I think I'm going to DIE!!
7. I've watched the PBR bull-riders show...which was awesome. Great bulls, great cowboys, GREAT Wrangler butts!
8. I've watched the sheep show. That was hilarious.
9. I've walked through the animal barns in flip flops and somehow not got any poop on myself!
10. I've looked at all the fun, odd, and unique fair entries: 4-H and Open class.
11. I've determined I should be voted on to the Fair Board! lmao

Today when I showed up to work at the Kiwanis shack this morning, I noticed the big tent that all the games were set up under was gone. In fact, the whole thing was. All the game stands were vanished. When I got inside I found out, the wind had ripped the tent into tiny little pieces and had blown the stands all over the place. Part of it landed on one of the kids rides and ruined it. It was one they had worked on all winter long and are now going to have to completely redo. Other parts of it were clear past the fairgrounds out in the street!! So, for the rest of the week, no games. Our fair is all done locally. We own our rides and people in the community run them and provide the games and run them also. Last year I drove the kiddie train all week. They didn't ask me to this year....I can't imagine why!! Those kids LOVED me! ha

Anyway, in honor of fair week, you should all go eat something fried or on a stick. It's only the "fair" thing to do ya know!!