Productiveness is overrated

Why is it, that even when I am going out of my way to not be a procrastinator and actually get shit accomplished...I always seem to step in a big pile o' poop, instead of getting my reward of a job well done?

Today, I borrowed an electric hedge trimmer (thank you Joyous!), and set out to trim the bushes on on the side of my house, the big one by the front door, and mainly...the way overgrow hedges in the alley. I started out front and got all those done and then made my way to the back fence. I was on a ladder and getting all that I could from the inside of the fence and had worked my way from one end to the other. I was having to reach for the end, because my shed was in the way, and there is only about 5 inches between the shed and fence...hence, my big booty wouldn't fit in between. So, I'm leaning and stretching my arms as far as I could to get the last little bit....when it happened.

NO...I didn't fall off the ladder...(which, I know, is a miracle by the way). Instead I suddenly felt severe pain and burning in my hand. At first I was confused and thought I had somehow caught my hand in the hedge trimmer..but then realized both hands where on the handle...then my arms started hurting and burning too. That's when it finally registered what was going on...I dropped the still running trimmer and started running! Amazingly, once again, no sound escaped my mouth. Not a scream, not a cuss word, not a peep. (for those that have heard the marble stair incident, you may remember no sound came forth then either...I'm thinking this is not normal..especially since I'm quite possibly the loudest person I know---other than my OLDER sister Amy. You're welcome for the OLDER part, Amy. ha).

Anyway, back to the point. I had been telling my dad for over a month that I was seeing wasps in my backyard, but hadn't found any nests. Well folks, I found it today. It is on the backside of my shed...and my hand was probably less than half an inch from it. They got my right hand twice, my right arm 3 more times, and my left arm once. I called my parents and my dad is relaying the info to my mom..and she's in the background freaking out. 6?! She got stung 6 times...tell her go get to the ER before her throat starts closing off!! She could die. My dad was trying not to laugh. I was trying not to cry...because by this point, my hand is swollen twice it's size, my right arm is completely numb and super heavy feeling...and I'm sitting with the realization that I have no health insurance until Sept. 1st. So really, even if my throat did start to close, it would probably be cheaper to just die.

Instead I jsut took some generic benadryl, went and bought meat tenderizer and mixed it with water to make a paste..cause my mom says it draws out the bad stuff (and her bro is a pharmacist, so for some reason I feel that gives her more credibility??), and I got the biggest can of wasp killer I could find. I left the bastards alone for now..but tomorrow I'm gonna kill those suckers.

THIS IS WAR!!!

By the way, the bushes out front look fantabulous...but don't drive down my alley. After the incident, I went out to finish...but I think I mutliated the poor hedges instead. And there were some that I still couldn't reach and some that were too thick for the hedge trimmer to go through...so it looks like a pretty ghetto haircut I'm afraid. So really, do NOT drive by and look, unless you feel like picking up the huge pile of branches and hauling them to the dump for me!!