Thursday, September 20, 2007

Oh...what the heck..why not?!

So, I've decided (probably because of all the meds I'm on and the lack of sleep in my world) that I am insanely hilarious and should start writing books- so that the world can bask in my humor, laugh until they pee, and think I'm a comedic genius.

Here are some book topics I'm considering:

1. The things in this world that annoy me, really tick me off, and why.
2. Farts and poop. (I'll dedicate this one to my cousin Steve...he's obsessed with poop).
3. Family dysfunctionalism and why it's spectacular (and yes, I fully intend to make up my own verbage...get used to it!)
4. All the fun things you can do with snow!
5. The reasons staying single and irritating your mom are way more fun than actually dating, getting married, and having kids.
6. Why calorie counting is gay and I think people should all just go on a brownie and spaghetti diet.
7. Jalapenos.
8. The term wheel barrow and why it is so odd.
9. Reasons everyone should own a feather boa.
10. My autobiography, cause let's face world is way funnier than a lot of people's. I'm a freak...that's why you're my friend!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

American Idol didn't pick me, maybe Goodland will?!

HA! Goodland has it's annual Flatlander Festival this month. This year they have added a talent show to the schedule of events. You KNOW my goofy ass is gonna participate. It's what I do!

So I went and got the application form, and was suprised to see that each act is to perform for 15 minutes! WHAT?! I've never been in any talent contest that did this. Usually it's one song and you're done. I think this is odd for a couple reasons. One...I'm not a band, I'm just a small town girl that likes to sing and make an ass outta myself. I'm not gonna play the guitar or piano while I sing...just use background music. I could understand the 15 minute thing if it was a band. It's work to set up their equipment just to do one song! The other reason I find this what if there are acts that are not music? Perhaps a dancer or dance group, a comedian, or even a dramatic solo. For those people 15 minutes is a LONG ASS time! Don't get me wrong...I think I'm brilliant and can certainly entertain the masses for 15 minutes...Shit...I could go for hours! ha I just wasn't expecting it. Guess the good people of this town will just get to revel in my genius a bit longer! I have to determine what I will sing. A good majority of you have probably heard and seen me sing somewhere. Think back to what you've heard and tell me what songs I should do. 15 minutes....means probably 4-5 songs. Although I have rapped on numerous occasions, I will not be blessing this audience with any of those skills. I busted that out at the bday bash. (Vanilla Ice)..and I think Goodland is good for at least another year! So, I'm thinking for this town, mostly country...and I'm thinking older country. Also thinking mostly upbeat fast songs...because part of the judging is on crowd participation. But I'll take any suggestions...(although Jenna, I can't really do Whitney Houston anymore...don't have the high range I once did..ha).

Anyway, vote away...I have to turn my app in by September 20th and the event is the 29th. Feel free to come and join the fun! My parents will be here to cheer for their favorite American Idol reject!

Oh yes, and for those of you that know him and the whole story, my mom thinks JP should come back to town and perform "Jesus Take the Wheel". I know for a fact that he could also include, "I love a Rainy Night", ANY Johnny Cash song, "Peaches", and "All the gold in California"...PLENTY of songs to take up 15 minutes. He says no. Big party pooper.