The Fair

So my sister, Amy (who has asked that I quit referring to her as "the older" sister, even though she is), LOVES the fair...specifically any STATE FAIR. She's obsessed, really. It's quite entertaining for others to witness though. Here are some of the reasons she can't stay away:

1. She enjoys trying ANY food that is fried: cheese, twinkies, oreos, pickles, corn, snickers, etc.
2. She really loves trying all the food that is "on a stick". (Last year she bought a shirt at the Minnesota state fair that listed all the foods you could find on a stick at the fair...and marked them off as she ate them). She's had all sorts of random foods this way.
3. She likes hanging out with her friends and walking around (to help work off the food she is consuming as she goes).
4. She loves random bizarre things, such as: butter sculptures, the world's largest pumpkin, and those cutouts that you stick your face in and take dumb pictures of!
5. She enjoys and appreciates the various concerts you can catch at a fair.

Reasons I don't like the fair:

1. The HEAT! Haven't you noticed almost NONE of the fair buildings in the world are air conditioned..even though we are living in 2007 and Willis Haviland Carrier
invented the first electrical air conditioning in 1902!!!!
2. Fried foods are bad (but I do love me some funnel cake!)
3. Food on a stick is just wrong and quite frankly...scares me.
4. Butter sculptures melt, pumpkins rot, and I don't need anymore stupid pictures of myself!
5. I do enjoy going to the concerts...but I can do that anytime of the year...preferrably either when it's cooler outside or at an INDOOR venue!!


The fair here in Goodland is quite different than that which I am used to. They do not have a carnival that comes in to town. OH NO! They have their own rides and games, because the crime rate was increasing way too much during fair week while all the carneys were in town. So they bought some seriously antiquated rides and then they beg people around town to run them and the games. Now, I already had a booth for my job, I worked 3 different days in the Kiwanis food kitchen, and then they called and asked me to do one of the kids games. I said I would for two nights. Ended up being the kid train..which is barrels hooked together and pulled behind a golf cart ...just around the fairgrounds. YES...for those of you that have been in a car with me...they asked ME to drive the kiddie train. I did not kill, mame, or even harm a single child or bystander. However, with all the different booths and the heat and working my regular job...I must admit...I'm so glad the fair is over!

Oh yeah, and 1 of the nights I did ride some rides with friends. First it was the sizzler...which I swear gave me whiplash, then the tilt-a-whirl which we couldn't get to spin much, and then the swings. I'm not sure if it's just been so long since I've rode any rides, if I'm just totally lame, or if almost being 30 is affecting me...but I almost blew chunks on the swings! My eyes were watering and I had that awful feeling working itself into my throat. I told my friend I thought I was going to puke....he laughed. I said, no really...if this ride doesn't end....I'm gonna puke. The ride ended and I went and sat on a bench while they rode some more rides. Suck! Whatever...it's over...until next year anyway!

P.S. Random fact: nacho cheese that you pump out of the machine...if you overshoot the cup and it lands on your hand...I swear it causes a 3rd degree burn. The guys in the Kiwanis booth with me thought I was being dramatic I'm sure, but then they saw the blister and that my finger was red and swollen! I didn't make anymore nachos that day! They(the nachos)are evil I'm pretty sure and I still have a huge blister that is shaped like a heart. I should take a picture and post it on here for you entertainment. NAH...that's gross.

Advice from Butzie

So while I was home this weekend, my family celebrated my 30th birthday early. The card from my parents had a list of "30 Top Pieces of Advice" my mom had written out. Thought I'd share them with you.

1. Go to church.
2. Keep daily communication with God and those you love.
3. Never eat yellow snow!
4. Don't sweat the small stuff.
5. Accept change.
6. Don't buy something for $50 and then sell it a garage sale for .50!
7. Water your grass.
8. Make your bed and the whole room looks better.
9. Check the air in your tires.
10. Never drink and drive.
11. Know when to hold 'em.
12. Know when to fold 'em.
13. Never count your money while your sitting at the table.
14. Be kind.
15. Share.
16. Clean up your own mess.
17. Help others.
18. Learn to listen.
19. Know when to walk away.
20. Know when to run.
21. Allow others to have a different opinion.
22. Always put the dogs out before you go to bed.
23. Thank others.
24. Share your artistic talents.
25. Appreciate.
26. Wear your good undies every day.
27. Accept responsibility.
28. Bloom where you're planted.
29. Eat your veggies.
30. Be patient!

I hope you all know Kenny Roger's song "The Gambler" or some of these won't have been near as funny to you!

Africa Smafrica

So my sister, Amy, is moving to Africa tomorrow. I'm not too thrilled about it. She's excited though and feels it is what she is supposed to be doing. Hmmm...

She'll be there a year, maybe 2. The maybe 2 just makes me even more "not thrilled". Sigh. I'm a bad sister and a horrible person aren't I? I should be at least a little supportive I suppose. I just don't want to be. I want her to stay in the USA and preferrably Kansas.

Anyway, if you want to know more about why she is moving there, here is her new blog she has started for this particular journey. http://rubyslipperlady.wordpress.com/

Since there is no cell phone service there, she would love to read your comments. However, to leave a comment on her blog, you have to get a username and password...but you DON'T have to start your own blog.

Maybe I'll win the lottery and can go visit? Oh, and in case you were wondering, she will not be living in a hut in a village. (I was deeply saddened by this...I think she should!) The majority of the time, she'll be living in an apartment in a city...and will only be in the small villages about 30% of the time I think. Bummer, eh?

Wacky nonsense from my Vegas Vaca

Joy, Shavaun and I headed to Vegas on the 4th of July. One of Joy's brothers, Jay, got married on 07-07-07, so we had an excuse to go. (I was supposed to go the month prior with some college friends, but couldn't get off work).

First night there, some random man kisses me and then leaves the bar with his DAD! He was pretty good looking though (the guy, not the dad!) ha How did we not get a picture of THAT?!!
This picture was about 2 mintues before the incident occurred! ha


At the pool, I accidentally mistake an 8 foot drop off for what I thought was just another step down. Then after I quit choking on all the water I swallowed and could feel my toes again after they slammed into the side of the pool...I couldn't quit laughing and almost peed my pants, which would obviously have only made matters worse...much much worse!

We went to the wax museum and of course, took a bunch of stupid pictures. Here are just a few for your enjoyment.

Shavaun and Earnhardt....I hate NASCAR!


Joy with Agassi...Shavaun is cheering from the stadium seats set up behind him! HA!


Me with Siegfried, Roy, and one of the tigers. Rrrroarrr!


Joy touching "THE ROCK". She looks so shy! We know better!


Heff...look at Joy with her hand on his knee! Too funny!

I saw 2 famous people, which of course, no one else did and then didn't believe me! ha (We saw the soap star again the next day so I had proof). Eileen Davidson was the soap star and in the airport I saw Crystal Gayle!

Some strange man tried to abduct me on Freemont Street. He just grabbed my hand and started pulling me down the street. I'm like, "Ummmm, I don't THINK SO! I took karate fool!"

After a long HOT day, I stopped to get a drink at our hotel bar. About 3 hours later as were leaving again for the evening, I realized I had no wallet. Long story short, I had indeed left it at the bar and someone had actually turned it in to security...with everything still in it. The security man thought it was a riot and made fun of me. (We stayed at the Frontier which and it was only gonna be open one more week and then they will tear it down...sad...it's the first place in Vegas Elvis performed!)


I was given a new nickname by one of the other gals that had come for the wedding. Apparently my hot pink high heels made me look like a hooker, which she seemed to think are all named Candy. And because they were pink, she started referring to me as Cotton Candy..and then shortened to CC. It was entertaining.


So, even though it was 116 degrees every day we were there, we had a blast! Although the next trip...will be in the frickin winter please and thank you!

OH WAIT!!!! I must not forget to tell you about the Bikini Bull Riding. We stayed at the Frontier..which has the bar Gilly's. The night we went there we finally got a table and it was right next to the mechanical bull ring. Later that evening they were trying to get girls to enter the bikini bull riding contest to win $500. Now, I have actually rode a mechanical bull and have pictures for proof...quite frankly, I rocked! ha Still, there was no way in hell you'd get my ass in any kind of swimsuit to ride a bull that a bunch of other nasty half naked hookers had just rubbed their skanky germs all over. So a bit later the first girl comes out and is wearing Gilly's hot pants, and tiny shirt. We're like oh, she must work here and is gonna get the crowd revved up. She gets on the bull, but it goes real slow and she is gyrating with it. Next thing we know all she has on is the hotpants. I turned to the other 4 women at my table and said, "I don't think she works here, and this is NOT what I thought they meant by bikini bull riding". They all laughed and agreed. There were 2 other women that attempted to outdo the first. 2 of the 3 gals were so flat chested they might have actually been men with it tucked in..I'm really not sure! The other one, must have won this a few times and used her winnings to get a boob job. They were so fake she actually could move them up and down like male body builders do. It was so NOT RIGHT! All I could do was laugh and be thankful that: there were only 3 contestants so it ended quickly, mine are real, and I don't feel the need to bare them to the world for a little cash or any other reason! God is good. Amen.

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

Why do people seem to WANT me to have a breakdown?!

Frightening as it was for me, I have now given in and had my hair done by 2 different women here in G-town. My Aunt Kathy has done my hair since I was in grade school and rocks, so this was somewhat traumatizing for me. The first woman I went to, I just needed a trim and wanted some bangs. I'm always nervous when the person doing my hair, hasn't seemed to take the time to do her own. This was such the case. Still, I let her chop away. The cut was okay, the bangs weren't quite what I had wanted, but I was too scared to ask for more to be cut off.

The next visit to a local salon, I needed highlights...desperately. It had been WAY too many months. I chose a different salon and made the appointment. I should say, both ladies were pleasant and overall kind people. This woman, however, asked more questions and conversated much more. Which led to the inevitable..."I know the perfect man I should set you up with...he's in the process of getting divorced and only has 18 million kids....but you'd be SO GREAT together!" This led to me that feeling of vomit building up in my throat. But I held it in..that would have been embarrassing. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough...as she's sectioning off my hair and applying highlights...(and please remember I just met this woman about 10 minutes previously)...she says, "Oh, you have some gray hairs!"

WHAT?! I said, "Gray hair!!!??? What? You're kidding me!!!" I think she noticed the terror in my voice and panic in my eyes. She then calmly said, "Oh, well actually it might just be really really blond hair."

My heart slowed to a more normal pace and I exhaled. "Yes. You're probably right. I'm sure that's what it is", I stated.

Then we moved on to much more normal conversation...you know, like what other men she could set me up with.

I left that salon thinking I was aging way too quickly, a loser for still being single...yet still loving that I found this hair stylist...because my hair rocked! I'll still stick with my Aunt Kathy, whenever I can get home, but if in a crunch...I know where I can go for good hair and a depressing hour of realizing I'm old, alone, and seem to be the focus of every match maker in town. sigh.....

The latest...

So let's see...I've been told I need to be blogging more often. OOPS!

Here's what's been going on in my world:

Got my hot tub on Saturday. It totally rocks my world! I LOVE IT! You should come visit soon! ha I even used it this morning after I finally got my butt out of bed!

My MRI came back normal...which is good but made me have a nervous breakdown since they STILL have no clue what's wrong with me. They started me on physical therapy and wearing a TENS unit. Haven't seen much of a change with either though. The hot tub has helped more in the 3 days I've had it than the PT and TENS. Oh well. I go back to see the neurologist on Aug. 1st for more of those painful injections and then see a THIRD rheumatologist on Septl. 12th...but I'm not bitter or anything! ha

My backyard is finally looking pretty darn good. Got grass growing in the couple spots that were bare...got stuff planted where the previous owner kept throwing all the pine needles and pine cones for 50 years...here are a couple pics:

This is the view out the back door. Pretty, isn't it?!

This is the East side of the yard, where I planted a ton of flowers, shrubs, and plants. (My mom weeded that little middle section while she was here...my flowers I planted there have bloomed and gone already...need to do something more in it I guess).

This is the patio where the hot tub is now. The table isn't there anymore, but a bar and stools. It's kinda fun. There are also lights around the top for at night. It's super cute. Go me.

I leave for Vegas on July 4th. Can't wait. Was supposed to go last month with my girls from college...but due to health issues and work, didn't get to go. So another friend was going out for her oldest brother's wedding. So I changed my flight and will be there the 4th-8th. Can't wait!

My big 30th birthday bash is getting closer! I can hardly wait! Several old college friends and some high school friends are all coming to town...from Denver, KC area, OK City, L-town, etc....plus all the Goodland folks. It's gonna be insane! Woo hoo!

My sister Amy leaves for Africa for a year next month! She has started a new blog to keep us updated of her journey. You can click on the link that says Amy in Africa or right here to see what she's up to!

Hmmm...guess that's it for now...oh wait...more pictures to share...My nephew's first time in a pool! Man I wish I would have been there to see it. Here's one of him on his way to the pool, one in the big pool and one in his baby pool at my parent's house! Too cute!

Oh...and here is some furniture my parent's are selling in case anyone needs dining room furniture:

The buffet/hutch

The table

The chairs

They will sell the table and chairs separately for $250 (there are 5 chairs, plus this one with the arms (they recovered them themselves! I think you can actually sit 8 or so at the table). Or they will sell it all together for $450. Let me know if you are interested.

Think that's should catch everyone up! Hope life is well for everyone!

Weird words, phrases, and families

So I bought a wheel barrow today. Went to Wally World yesterday for one and they didn't have any. Isn't that strange? Anyway, I found one at the lumber store today, paid way too much for it, and strangely...can't wait to use the damn thing. But what strikes me as odd is the name: wheel barrow. I don't know why, but when I say it... I feel as though I'm speaking gibberish. The barrow part always comes out wrong. It seems as though I'm making the words up. They just don't want to naturally roll off my tongue. I've noticed other words lately that have been the same. Maybe my mind is on overload and I'm overanalzing things again...but sometimes...words just seem frickin weird!

Earlier this week, my sister and I were laughing at some of the sayings our family uses...some are gross, twisted, and retarded. But they all are funny none the less. But again...they seem weird. Of course, it's no secret my family is insane...so I guess it should actually seem very natural and not weird at all.

Simply for your enjoyment and to add a bit of amusement to your day, I shall share some of these great sayings with you now. Use them often and fondly think of my granny as you do...as she is the one that taught them to us!

Okay...when someone burps, here are the appropriate responses you can choose from:
"Bring it up again and we'll vote on it".
"Save the orange and green pieces and we'll make a quilt".
"Divvies on the red chunks"!
"Better to burp and bare the shame, than not to burp and bare the pain!"

When someone farts, use one of these:
"I thought I heard a buck snort"!
"Who fired that shot"?
"Oh! The spider's are barking"!
"My uncle always told me that holding em in will make ya mean!"
"You do know that a fart is a message from gutsville to buttsville that there's a train coming down the track?" (disgusting I know..but admit it...you love it and can't wait to use this one!)

And last but not least...the one no one believes that I learned from my Granny....when you are losing a game, please be sure to use this phrase:
"Well, I'm losing again. I guess I'm the dog's hind tit."

People..I can't make this stuff up. I really did learn all this nonsense from my Granny. You want to meet her don't you? Well, she lives in Liberal and could tell ya lots of funny stories. You should go visit her really. Although, I would wear a "Depends" if I were you...cause she's a hoot! (Hoot...that's another odd one?!)

To my family members reading this...can you think of any I left out...I know there are more..but this was all I could think of at this moment in time.

P.S. A few more words I think are weird: poop, conquer, supper, tiki, and amarillo. Any words freakin your freak today?

Questions I need answered

So, because of situations some of my friends are dealing with, and my own family...I've been forced to think about my own inevitable death. My sister, Amy, had her will drawn up a few years ago and I thought she was crazy. We're young, single, with really...not much of anything for people to fight over once we're gone! (Although, I did make her put one piece of her furniture in her will for me...is that tacky? SHE ASKED ME what I wanted!!)

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

1. As I said, I own stuff....but none of it's paid off...you know, like my house, my car, my new hot tub!!! I mean...someone could probably use all of those things, but if I died today they'd really just be getting another payment of their own, right? So, as I already said...is there a point of a will right now?

2. Wills....what all goes in a will? Is it just that type of stuff...what goes to who? Or is that where you say what you want to happen to you once your gone? For instance...my mom wants to donate her body to KU Medical School..we had a family member that did that and she thought it was a brilliant plan. She also only wants a memorial service and wants me or my sisters to sing Happy Trails. If you don't know my mom...she's a bit of a whack job! But anyways, does that stuff go in the will? If so, then perhaps I should go ahead and deal with it?

3. Don't laugh too hard or make fun...but the thing I'm most concerned about is who will take care of my dogs?! I KNOW neither of my sisters will. My parents probably would or my Aunt Janet and Uncle Dan. Januea...they love you! Joy you could adopt them too! I kid you not, when I sat down and thought about all this a few weeks ago, this was the one thing that made me really upset. I want to know someone that loves them as much as I do will take them!! So, any volunteers?!

4. My other thought...since I'm not married (sorry mom), who has to foot the bills of me dying? My parents? A sibling? The state? I don't know shit. I mean, am I supposed to have money set aside for this stuff? That doesn't seem like a fun way to enjoy my hard earned paycheck.

5. What really does happen to any debts I owe? Like my house...does the mortgage company just take the house back? Does a family member have to take care of it since there currently is no husband in the picture? I'm clueless.

6. What do I want...cremation, burial, donate organs (the ones that aren't messed up anyway), or follow my mom's plan of giving my dead nastiness to KU? Really, how is one to decide something so bizarre. I kind of feel that it would be a waste to pay for a box to put me in, but burning myself up seems a bit freaky. And although I'm sure I'm a great case for medical students to study, the thought of that is almost so disgusting, that I'd rather not even think about it.

7. A living will...Amy did you do this? Is this a separate will or can it be added into the other? I don't want to live as a vegetable..although sometimes I think I already am. I think this would be an important thing to think about.

8. Although I'm not quite as extreme as my mom wanting Happy Trails at her memorial...I don't want some sad, depressing, funeral or memorial. I just want people to remember what it was they loved about me..whether it's good or bad...and share those memories and stories with one another, laugh, and maybe even have a beer in my memory! (or a shot- either a lunchbox or hypnotic and redbull).

9. I don't want to die for a really long time...


So, if any of you have any knowledge or thoughts on this subject, please share. If you know me, you know I'm not a morbid person...and not always the most organized..but perhaps this is one area where I should be more prepared.

Sweet, tart, and rockin my world!

So, in my efforts to be more health concious and minimize the pain and fatigue that is caused by who knows what since the doctors can't figure it out...I've gotten serious again about working out and what I eat. Here's the thing, I actually do enjoy working out...it's GETTING my butt to the gym that takes some will power. There are just other things that seem more important sometimes. You know, like who is going to get kicked off of "Dancing with the Stars" or "American Idol", sleeping, playing with the dogs, hanging out with friends, etc...

Once I get there I am in the zone, completely focused on my music selection and getting my heart pumping. I love the elliptical, I can put up with the treadmill, and the bike is okay some days. I'm even giving in to the antiquated piece of crap weight room my gym has and just getting in there and doing what I can. Not only that but I'm running to and from the gym...granted...it's only 3 blocks! ha Working out is supposed to give you an adrenalin rush and boost your energy. For me, it makes my entire body hurt and makes me so tired I can barely stand. I actually almost fell asleep while RUNNING on the treadmill a couple weeks ago. Slightly dangerous. BUT...surely the current issues will get better with time and better overall health.

As for food...I've stocked my kitchen with buttloads of fruit: granny smith apples, bananas, strawberries, red grapes, and my favorite of all time...CLEMENTINES!!! If you have never had one, please...for the love of all this is right in this world...go buy some NOW! They truly rock the planet! I've also made myself use nuts or granola here and there. Not my fave...but whatever.

So...if I'm gonna give it a month..and I don't feel any better I've decided I'm going to boycott ALL doctors! I see the 2nd neurologist June 1st for a test for MS. Beyond that..I'm refusing to go if I see no improvements! There ya have it...clementines, gym, no doctors...sound like a grand plan to you?!

You might be a redneck if....

I LOVE THIS! My cousin Wil is a true good 'ol boy. He has grown up in a family of farmers, so for prom...he and his date rode into town and to the prom on the John Deere Crop Sprayer!!! How flippin awesome is this!!! He rocks for sure! Man I love my family!!

Can you tell we're from smalltown America?!

Afterthoughts: Wil's date, Kaylonni, is also from a farming family. I believe they also raise sheep and pigs? Both Wil and Kaylonni are also 4H-ers! WooHoo!

Adam (AKA BUBBA, STINKY, STUEY)

Went to Dallas this past weekend to visit my younger sister Angie, her hubby Jeff, and baby Adam. It was great to get away after the last couple of weeks of work. (Our fundraiser went great, I personally came within $150 of my $2000 goal..and I think we will not be too far from our overall goal once we have the other bowling event for the last county).

Anyway, the weekend was great. Lots of rest, relaxation, and quality time with my family. And seriously, Adam is the cutest and most hysterical baby of all time. Work with me...because now I have to show him off...pics from the weekend..and one hysterical video that you absolutely MUST watch. He's a riot! Lots of slobber, spectacular dimples, and two little teeth starting to poke through!

He does this ALL the time! It's fantabulous entertainment! They are also teaching him to rub his belly after he's done eating. Too funny.

Rainy day blues

Rain. I hate it and love it all at the same time. I hate it because it's gloomy, cold, and makes me sad. I love it for quenching my lawn's thirst, making the flowers bloom, and smelling..well, like rain!

My Ode to Rain

Rain drops falling, like children on skates
The ground wet and muddy each morning I wake
The thunder and lightning frighten me so
I'm so sweet I might melt, oh where should I go?
The clock keeps ticking with each inch that falls
The crops are all happy, but I hate this y'all!
Rain is so wet, messy, and cold
I like things dry and clean...does that mean I'm getting old?
This is my ode to the rain I can't stand
Cause I'll take the rain's imperfections before those of a man!

And there ya have it folks...it's not as good as my Girl Scout Cookie poem...but it's hard to be perfect all the time! =)

Something is outta whack..

You know when you have that nagging feeling that you've forgot something...like maybe I didn't turn off the stove, unplug the curling iron, or lock the door. Or when you just feel like you should be somewhere, but aren't sure what or where? Or when you just think something isn't right, but can't figure out what it is?

I've had that feeling for about 3 days now. It's making me nutty. I have indeed locked the doors and not left anything turned on. I haven't missed any meetings or appointments, but yet I feel as though I'm forgetting something or that something bad is going to happen. Hmmm...

I go to the doctor in the morning...I hope it's not bad news that I'll get there. I'm driving home to visit the fam for the weekend tomorrow too. Hope it's not a wreck that I should be worried about (or a speeding ticket!). It's just kind of a sense of impending doom. Kinda just want to go home, crawl into bed and stay there until the feeling goes away.

Ever felt like that? Weird. And a little creepy.

Thought I'd share...

Well, since I got such great response to my girl scout poem (which really, you should all pronounce "pome", kind of with an English accent because it's just more fun to say it that way)...I thought maybe I'd occasionally slip in a post with some of my various songs' lyrics and other "pomes".

This first one is the only song I've written that isn't country or R&B...it's one for church, a prayer if you will. I actually wrote this during college as I was driving down the interstate after visiting my sister, Amy. I was upset (not because of anything she did...although I could write a few songs about both my sisters...the good, the bad, and the ugly..ha!) about the way parts of my life were going, and it really came from me breaking down, crying, and asking God what I was doing wrong, why does life have to be so hard, so difficult, how was I going to make the changes I needed to? It may have been the quickest it's ever taken me to write a song. Thankfully I had a pen, paper, and mini-recorder with me. (I need to start carrying that with me again!) And I've actually sang this at my home church in Liberal, as well as at my grandparents church in Coldwater, KS. I wish you could hear it...the melody to this one is probably one of my best. I haven't ever recorded this one, but if I could figure out a way to put some of my songs on here for you all to listen to...I'd think about it. ha

Oh, and for those wondering, yes...I've already copyrighted all these lyrics and songs with the US Copyright office...so it's okay, I'm safe.


LET ME LIVE FOR YOU

I see the cross, and I feel you
I read your word, and I feel you
But you fill me, with a love so deep
That it hurts to let you down

When I pray, you hear me
When I cry, you always hear me
You listen to me, with an open heart
Why don't I always hear you

Chorus:
Lord give me the strength, to follow your way
Lift me up in your humble arms
Help me to walk side by side with you
Lord let me live for you

When I have sinned, you forgave
When I was wrong, you always forgave
Teach me to live, with a forgiving heart like yours
Help me live from what I've learned

Chorus

I see the cross, and I feel you...

It's just on my mind is all...

Girl Scout cookies are so bad.
Girl Scout cookies make me mad.
Those cute little girls with their little pig tails
Sell me lard in a box and it never fails...
I gain a pound or two or ten
After eating a box of devilish thin mints.

Girl Scout cookies are very bad.
Girl Scout cookies make me mad.
They are evil and do the devil's work
Those cute little girls are really twerps.
Peddling fat for $3.50 a box
I plan not to answer the next time they knock.

Girl Scout cookies are worse than bad.
Girl Scout cookies make me mad.
I might go puke cause I ate more than I should
Pass me the Somoas if you would!!
No wait, I shall not have another bite
Or I might explode, no I really might!

Girl Scout cookies are bad, bad, bad.
Girl Scout cookies make me mad.

THE END

I'm over half way there!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you that have helped me thus far in reaching my goal for my organization's fundraiser! I'm over half way there. A couple of donations that were mailed in have not been posted on the site yet....but as of right now I'm at $1080! Only $920 more to go to reach the goal I set for myself.

Our organizations overall goal for funds raised in this event ar $20,000. So if I can reach my goal, I will have made a great dent in that...shoot, I have anyway!

If you want to watch my progress, check out what I'm talking about, or are interested in making a donation...here is the link again.

Thanks again my fine friends and family! You all ROCK!!

To be or not to be...completely honest

"Honesty is such a lonely word, Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you". -Billy Joel

Is there such a thing being too honest? We all have faced moments when a lie seemed like it was the better route at that exact moment...be it a little white lie, or a huge monstrosity we soon came to regret. What is it that leads us to believe that we are sparing the other persons feelings? Often, the things I find myself shying away from telling someone the truth about, are things that they eventually will be told anyway...and it would have been much kinder to hear it from me...rather than a stranger, a boss, or someone else. I find myself thinking, why hurt their feelings...why upset them...why make them mad...why risk an arguement and possibly a friendship? Why? Because that's what a true friend would do. Risk it all to help the ones they love.

If we tell the truth in these moments, the very things we were afraid of happening, often do. Anger, hurt feelings, loss of friendship, etc. So here I sit in a bubble wondering when should I speak up...tell exactly what I think, exactly what I feel? Who will my words and feelings benefit, who will they hurt, and who will hold it against me and never speak to me again. As I worry about the reaction of the other persons, I also worry about myself and keeping my own emotions and thoughts tucked away so they can eat away at me until I'm nothing but a carcass. When do I say screw it and enough is enough...THIS is what I think, THIS is what I feel, I'm SORRY if it hurts you, makes you mad, makes you uncomfortable...but it is what it is.

Friends and loved ones usually know you the best. They probably know when you are not being honest anyway. They know if you are opinionated and usually speak how you feel. Unfortunatley, this doesn't make them any more open to your truths. It only makes your honesty and truthfulness more hurtful to them.

So where does that leave us. Do we try to stay somewhere in the middle, lay it all on the line all the time, or pussyfoot around so we don't offend or make others uncomfortable?

Don't moms think before they speak?

This is the statement my mother made to me yesterday:

"I think you should just ask someone to marry you. Because really, your internal clock is ticking. You're just going to wait until it's too late for you."

Yep...I'm not making it up. It's a depressing day when you realize your own mother has lost hope for you. I mean...she's the one that HAS to root for you no matter how bad you suck at something, for no other fact than you're her kid....right?! Apparently not once you are almost 30, not married, and not producing grandchildren.

OBVIOUSLY she doesn't realize that I'm already bitter, depressed, and angered with the knowledge that a week from today is the absolute worst and most idiotic holiday ever created! I'm sick of seeing all the hearts, flowers, and lovey-dovey crap plastered everywhere I turn. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! And seriously...it really sent me over the edge when the stores started putting it all out even before Christmas.

So apparently, at this moment, I don't know who I'm most disgusted with: my mom for not having faith in me, men in general for not loving and adoring me like they should be, myself for not being able to figure out and fix why those men aren't loving and adoring me like they should be, or the media/Hallmark/Wal-Mart for making the past month disgustingly pink and red and for making me want to hurl all over their pepto-bismal colored aisles!!!

THANKS ahead of time friends!

The organization I am a Director for has its' main yearly fundraiser fast approaching. If you'd like to help us out, go to this site to see how you can help make a difference in the life of a child! Every donation helps! Our total goal this year is $20,000. Last year almost $15,000 was raised. Please help me do my part in helping us make that 20k goal a reality! The children in our communities will benefit greatly!

Thank you for your support and generosity!

Odd yet hysterical moment.

I just used the word breakFART instead of breakFAST...out loud...I really said it.

It was a bit of an awkward silence afterward...then me laughing so hard I snorted and almost peed my pants. Is this a sign of aging...or am I just losing my mind?!